Birthday gifts for grandparents who live far away

Five gifts that carry the family

Each one works across a distance, needs no shop, and says more about your family than an object can.

1. 1

   A printed family tree

   It shows a grandparent where they sit in the family: their children, every grandchild, the cousins they have only met on a screen. Many grandparents come back to it again and again.

   How to do it well

   • Ask each branch to check its own names, spellings and dates, so the tree is right before it is printed.
   • Add a year of birth and one short line for each person, such as where they live or what they are studying.
   • Leave room at the bottom for the next baby and the next wedding.
   • Print it large, in big type. A print shop in your grandparent's own country can print and deliver it, so it never crosses a border.

   Watch for: Spell names the way your grandparent writes them, in their own script if they use one.

   On Kunbaa: Each relative can add their own branch to the Kunbaa tree, so the names and dates come from the people who know them. Kunbaa doesn't print or export a chart today, so you copy the names across to whatever you print from.

2. 2

   A voice-note album from the grandchildren

   A grandparent can play a grandchild's voice again on a quiet afternoon. It suits eyes that tire, and a family that talks faster than a call allows.

   How to do it well

   • Ask each grandchild and cousin for thirty seconds to a minute: a memory they share, a thank you, or what happened this week.
   • Ask the youngest to talk as if the grandparent is sitting next to them.
   • Put the recordings in family order, oldest first, and finish with one of everyone singing.
   • Send them the way your grandparent already listens: in the chat app they use, or with a helper who sits with them the first time.

   Watch for: Don't ask a grandparent to install something new for a birthday. Use what is already on their phone.

   On Kunbaa: On Kunbaa a voice note is a post like any other. It plays straight from the family wall, and only the relatives you've invited can hear it. If the birthday person is in your family space too, they see it as soon as it is posted, so collect a surprise album somewhere else.

3. 3

   A video call booked in advance

   Grandparents often say they would rather see faces than receive a thing. A call with a set time, and everyone there, is a gift of attention.

   How to do it well

   • Choose one hour that works in every country, and write down what time it is for each person.
   • Use the app your grandparent already knows, and ask someone nearby to be their helper on the day.
   • Give each person two minutes, youngest first, and finish with everyone together.
   • Put the date in everyone's calendar, and send a reminder the day before.

   Watch for: Clocks change on different dates in different countries, so check the hour for each place a few days before.

   On Kunbaa: Plan it as a Kunbaa event: name it, pick the kind (call), choose who is invited and share out the jobs, such as who collects the recordings and who helps on the day. Reminders keep the family aware of what's coming.

4. 4

   A collection of letters from the grandchildren

   A handwritten page from each grandchild is something to keep, reread and show visitors. Children's handwriting and drawings are often the part a grandparent treasures most.

   How to do it well

   • Ask each grandchild for one page: a favourite memory with the grandparent, what they are learning, or a question for the next call.
   • Date every page, and put each child's name and age at the top.
   • Photograph each page before it goes in the post, in case the parcel is delayed.
   • Send the pages together in one envelope, with a short cover note from the whole family.

   Watch for: Let the children write in whichever language they are comfortable in. A few words in the grandparent's own language mean a lot.

   On Kunbaa: The family wall can hold a photo of each page, so every branch sees the collection fill up. It is shared only with the relatives you've invited, and the birthday person sees it too if they are in the family space.

5. 5

   A photo book of the year

   It gives a grandparent the year they missed: the grandchildren growing, the new house, the ordinary Sundays. A book needs no battery and no connection.

   How to do it well

   • Choose twenty to thirty photos, roughly one for each month, with faces rather than scenery.
   • Caption each one with who, where and roughly when.
   • Include a photo from every branch of the family, and one old photo for contrast.
   • Order from a print service in the grandparent's own country if you can, so the book never has to cross a border.

   Watch for: Proofread the names and dates before you order. A misspelt name in print is hard to un-see.

   On Kunbaa: The family wall puts every branch's photos in one place, with the caption each person gave them. Kunbaa doesn't make photo books or export a year of photos in one go, so ask the people who took the photos for the originals.